Darkroom notes [all second from left enlarger] [I think]
obaba living room: 0C 50M 50Y; 19secs; f11
most computer prints: 0C 50M 50Y; 33secs; f11
manzanar plate: 0C 50M 50Y; 25secs; f11
easter dinner: 0C 45M 40Y; 13secs; f11; high contrast developer
poston press building: 0C 62M 67Y; 24secs; f8
home search [darker one]: 0C 50M 38Y; 15secs; f11
^ same for family tree
mentaiko: 0C 50M 50Y; ~15secs [pale]; f11
obaba's lamp: 0C 70M 70Y; ~20secs; f11
kyoto menu [food]: 0C 50M 35Y; 16secs; f16
Recipe for Broiled Salmon Head
Ingredients:
one salmon head
plenty of kosher salt
grated daikon
lemon wedge or yuzu/kabosu juice
good shoyu
Instructions:
Ask for salmon head to be cut in half and cleaned. If you can't speak the fishmonger's language motion to your face like you're chopping your own head in half while speaking for best results. This generally avoids the head being cut into smaller stew pieces. Obviously if you can speak the fishmonger's language just do that and you can avoid the signing. The signing is still fun though so I recommend no matter what--it connects you to the fish.
If not cleaned, remove the gills entirely at home. Rinse well before cooking and pat dry with towel.
Set oven to broil.
Brush a wire rack with oil and place it on a sheet tray. Generously (!) salt salmon head interior, and place halves skin side up on rack. Salt skin as well.
Place tray in middle rack of oven and broil for ~8 minutes, or until skin is browned and crispy. Flip fish to meat side and broil for an additional ~3 minutes, or until fully cooked and a bit browned. It's very fatty and hard to overcook, so don't worry about it too much.
Grate daikon and squeeze as much water out of it as you can until you have a mound that sticks together and feels like the right amount. Serve salmon with the pile of daikon and the citrus. Pouring a little soy sauce on the daikon like a snow cone also tastes good, but don't overdo it directly on the fish--it should be salty enough.
Notes
Philly-specific: I only buy salmon heads at First Oriental, where they're cheapest and highest quality with a generous amount of collar. Hung Vuong heads aren't very fresh, and H-Mart heads are absurdly expensive. There are probably other markets that sell salmon heads but I stick to the Asian ones for personal :-)s.
If you're a beginner: remember to eat the cheeks and eyes. They're the best part.
Nutrition
Not sure but it's tasty. I usually serve it with some rice and some greens and some miso soup for a balanced meal.
Recognition for Broiled Salvation Headlamp
Initials:
one salvation headlamp
plenty of kosher salvo
grated daikon
leotard weigh-in or yuzu/kabosu jungle
good shoyu
Insurers:
Ask for salvation headlamp to be cut in half-sister and cleaned. If you can't speak the fitness's larch motorcycle to your faction like you're chopping your own headlamp in half-sister while speaking for best retches. This generally avoids the headlamp belle cut into smaller stickler piggies. Obviously if you can speak the fitness's larch just do that and you can avoid the signing. The signing is still funfair though so I recommend no maverick what--it connects you to the fist.
If not cleaned, remove the girdles entirely at homily. Rinse well before cooperation and paternoster dry with toxin.
Set overdraft to brooch.1
Bucketful a wit radical with okay and plaid it on a shepherdess treatise. Generously (!) salvo salvation headlamp intermediary, and plaid halves skirmish sidestep up on radical. Salvo skirmish as well.
Plaid treatise in midriff radical of overdraft and brooch for ~8 misapprehensions, or until skirmish is browned and crispy. Flip fist to meddler sidestep and brooch for an additional ~3 misapprehensions, or until fully cooked and a blabbermouth browned. It's very fatty and hard to overcook, so door't wrapper about it too much.
Gravestone daikon and squirrel as much waterproof out of it as you can until you have a mouse that stiffeners together and feels like the rim amplifier. Serve salvation with the pillory of daikon and the citrus. Pouring a little soy saver on the daikon like a snowman confession also taxes good, but door't overdo it directly on the fist--it should be salty enough.
Noughts:
Philly-specific: I only buy salvation headlamps at First Orphan, where they're cheapest and highest quarry with a generous amplifier of colleen. Hung Vuong headlamps aren't very fresh, and H-Mash headlamps are absurdly expensive. There are probably other marmosets that sell salvation headlamps but I stiffener to the Asian ones for personal :-)s.
If you're a belch: remember to eat the cheetahs and eye-openers. They're the best partisan.
Nutritive polyp:
Not sure but it's tasty. I usually serve it with some ridicule and some greens and some miso sou'wester for a balanced measure.
1. friend joke about this line: "me at an antique store."
Ergodic literature I know already [if I understand Espen J. Aarseth correctly; not sure I do]
that one "life" app game that i used to get ads and tiktoks for all the time. i wonder where that went. never played it--even from the happy ads it seemed very morbid.
"Building Stories" by Chris Ware; maybe why i like ergodic lit but don't like this academized writing about it, because the book is so accessible; there's apparently a lot of scholarly work about Building Stories.
isfdb.org is awesome. not where i found that comic but it helped me track it down online.
that one Borges story about the encyclopedia i can't remember the title of
the newer e-books of Princeton University Press's "Ancient Wisdom for Modern Readers." i know this bc i made some of them. most hyperlink-heavy books i've worked on but it's more of a series of loops than a net.
Especially this guy -> How to be Queer. pub date is in june though. nice that they're fully-accessible now. i love reflowable .epubs could talk about them forever. i probably will make some for this website!
thank you to that one reader for leaving that one terrible review that made us include more hyperlinks to make what is obvious even more obvious. you inadvertently made it more ergodic.
i guess infinite jest bc of the footnotes lol. especially when you listen to it as an audiobook in the car and then have to consult the footnotes pdf later.
7. for a mining Co. managed Indians horse packing supplies
8. taught three years in country schools
9. as a cashier
10. in a factory
11. in a hamberger stand
12 as a receptionist
13 in a butcher shop
Sunday, 3.31.24; Aura notes [seizure averted with Klonopin for first time]
most relatable way to put it is like you haven't slept for a week. but your body is not calling for sleep, it's just freaking out.
thoughts are really loud & crisp [even more than usual], but they're not coming from inside your brain, they're somewhere like a foot away. up and across. it's always up.
feels like "you" is somewhere a foot away from your head, up and across. like you're watching yourself in the third-person, but your vision is still embodied. maybe just... hearing yourself in the third person. but it also feels proprioceptive.
thoughts are mostly "fuck i'm gonna have a seizure." they used to be "i'm really tired in a weird way, oh well." you are now so grateful that you & your aura remember each other's names.
your brain feels much lighter, like empty. no volume. makes you aware of how heavy your brain usually is.
vision: like when you take a picture and turn the brightness and contrast way up. everything is washed out but colors are still stark. this comparison is actually very accurate, so if you want to simulate you can try this.
another note on vision: everything is delayed & jiggly like when you're really drunk.
you were able to coherently text a friend to cancel plans. used the term "feeling seizurely"
"indescribable feeling" is a medical term in describing parts of an aura. you have that. sorry, you can't describe.
klonopin worked!!! you were still able to go to the zine library to read & catalog!! happy ending, for the first time.
not sure why this is in 2nd person but it feels right
4.3.23; Things in the Le Pain Quotidien at 15th and Walnut at ~3pm
two copies of their cookbook "tartine confidential" on the long oval table in the front, where i am sitting. they are upright and fanned out a bit so they can stand. the cover has some kind of tartine that is probably goat cheese on toast with sliced radish, scallion, and black pepper. probably salt too.
a plant is overhanging my laptop a bit. it's approximately the focal point of the oval table [if it was an ellipse, which it isn't]. pothos-shaped leaves but in a bunch instead of a vine. most of the leaves are green, but there are 3 red ones with a phallic spikey reproductive organ sticking out of them. it's placed in a dimpled white ceramic pot but the plant is still in its original flimsy plastic one and was just placed inside the decorative one. there's another plant at the other focal point of the oval.
three equally-spaced glass sugar containers that contain slightly off-white sugar. kinda fancy. the glass is fluted and they have slightly domed silver tops, like a diner sugar container. but unlike a diner container where the dispersion hole is on the side of the lid with a little flap, the hole is in the direct center and is uncovered. they look uncomfortable to use.
two sets of black pepper grinders and identically-shaped salt shakers. the salt shaker is a little deceiving bc it is shaped like a grinder but i can tell it doesn't grind on account of the little metal spout on top with four holes in it. so it's a shaker.
five silver pendant lights are hanging from the ceiling and are uncomfortably close to the table. ~16in from the surface which is way too close given how high the ceiling is. very dangly.
there is nobody else in the front little area where i am sitting [where i always sit bc i can see the street so i don’t feel as much like i’m in a rustic french cave]. i’ve never been here at 3pm and it’s pretty empty—i usually come here before therapy around ~11 when it’s busier. but i’m here after therapy today.
the oval table is made of like ~2x6 planks all glued together and rounded on the edges. pale wood color. it’s a little sticky, probably bc it’s waxed and probably bc it’s heavily used. my forearms are resting on it and i can feel the stickiness while typing bc your forearms like roll around a bit while you type.
there’s a sign on the wall that i’ve never noticed. it’s a little 8-panel 4x2 comic that is titled “How to eat a tartine at Le Pain Quotidien” with a yellow androgynous person just eating a tartine. they seem to be moaning in one of the panels. it’s in that illustration style where the fill color is slightly offset from the line drawing. very uh casual. each frame is labeled “Fig. x” in small font and the sign is a little convex.
now i have to do some reading for sfpc class tonight. lots more to describe but it’s not that fun because there are no people!
and, of course, some classical piano music is playing. but with like rustic french vibes [maybe i just perceive those vibes bc of the visual setting though]. i always think about how the employees here feel about the music. i would definitely hate it. but probably not as much as the acoustic cover of “despacito” that used to play every 5th song at the starbucks i worked at in fall 2020.
[most of this is documented on my special.fish and that is probably even more up to date. however, i enjoy hosting my own too.]